hmph.

What do you say when someone asks you how you're feeling? The truth - which is far too long and complicated, and people think you're crazy for doin' what you're doing, or they ask some stupid question like "what went wrong? you seemed so perfect together!" I KNOW, ME TOO.

So here I am, I am not feeling as bad as yesterday but then my whole world fell apart then! So I guess I still feel pretty bad. However I went to watch today's rugby game, we won, and I got many kisses and hugs so obviously he is not doing that stupid boy-thing where they shut down, and act as if you have leprosy, also can we have sex? You know? But anyway, I am drinking a (small) glass of white wine with my minestrone, and I have a Cadbury egg here too, which is good because besides a piece of toast with peanut butter I have not eaten anything. Not because I'm sad, or feel fat, but because my stomach is just screwed up, which happens every time I get stressed.

Now I am going to dye my hair, take a bath, and listen to my new itunes mix I made for myself. No, not heart-wrenching breakup songs, but songs about hope and the future and moving on. (I am, however, avoiding the radio.)

Thanks for the emails and advice, though I won't be following all of it. You just take one step at a time, cry in public if you need to (not that you'll be able to help it. Ya'll know, right? isn't that THE MOST EMBARASSING THING?)