Saturday, October 01, 2005

Well, now I feel put upon. It's my own fault, of course. I said I'd clean, and then took yarn out to do ebay auctions and now there's yarn everywhere and I'm stressed and what the fuck am I supposed to do with all this shit??? Why do we have so many goddamn computer cords?! I swear, there's fifty of them!! I can't tell you how tempted I am right now to just start chucking stuff, but that seems unwise. Add to that I want to work on school projects, knit, cook dinner for Mark, ... and.. and... I'm just overwhelmed. I'd like to have a good cry but that seems like even more time wasted. How is it 3 pm when I got up at 7 am?! Granted I got some stuff listed on ebay, and read an entire book, but now the apartment's a wreck and I just plain don't want to clean it.

Add to that money troubles. It's tight, man. I need to buy maybe three things from the grocery store, but I don't want to do it. I want Mark to do it, cause I spent like 30 bucks this weekend already on grocery AND I paid for date night. Granted I offered, but still. It should not take a rocket scientist to figure out, "Hey, maybe my girlfriend is tired of buying food and toiletries and stuff all week!"

This is not Mark's fault. He does not have ESP, and he's miles and miles away playing a rugby game. Maybe that's why I'm so frustrated and upset; he goes out to play (granted, it's a very hard game) and I'm at home, wanting him to HELP CLEAN and DO STUFF FOR ME. It's shitty being home all day alone because I get nothing done, am bored and lonely, and when he does get back, my first thought is "Whew, now I can get to work." WTF?? It would make more sense to get it all done while he's gone, but no, I am just plain being bratty.

Okay. Now that I've got that off my chest, I'm going to put on the tv, clean til the episode's over, take a shower, go to the store, get the soup on (Mexican Butternut Stew and Quesadillas), and then write. For school. It's strange how the thought of just sitting down and doing schoolwork gives me a sigh of relief... (As in, "My god, the crushing load I put on myself has lightened considerably! Oh, happy day!")