Thursday, February 23, 2006

I don't know why, but the last couple days I have been feeling miserable. Not sick, just... miserable. Nothing bad is going on, but I'm crying at car commercials. For some reason my self-esteem has vanished and left a wobbling pile of insecurity and self-doubt in its wake and I don't know why! (As in, any time somebody compliments me, I can't believe them. I find myself thinking "What did they mean by that?") It gets me feeling frustrated, which only makes it worse. I wish I knew what was going on in my brain, because I can't seem to calm down or focus on anything! (Can I have a hug, please?)

Anyway, my ebay auctions ended and I did really well, but I am NOT SPENDING THAT MONEY! It is staying in my account. I am going to Adrienne Outlaw's studio today to see about an internship and one of my favorite people will be there. God, I hope she is, because I could sure use somebody to commiserate with!

(It probably doesn't help I am listening to the Perishers. Their music is beautiful, but it is all depressing as hell.)

Please send some mental love my way, til I can get over this very fragile feeling.